I like (ninja) turtles!

Epic Poker Night

This past Tuesday, Johnny and I were texting back and forth, trying to think of something to do later that evening.  We had tentatively planned on playing Poker with some guys but when a key member of that circle of friends backed out we decided to adjust our plans.  We finally settled NOT on poker but instead on another card game, Munchkin, which is essentially a simplified version of Dungeons & Dragons. (Every bit as nerdy as it sounds but LOTS of fun!)

Or so I thought...

You see, while I believed that we were going to play Munchkin, Johnny somehow was still under the impression that we were going to play Poker.  And to make matters worse, he and I decided to invite everyone separately, with Johnny inviting half the group and me the other half. (Don't ask me why we didn't just do a group text; hindsight is 20/20...) Fast forward to that evening and now we've got half the party showing up ready to play Poker and the other half of them expecting to play Munchkin.  Quite the pickle!

Anywho, everyone agreed it was a pretty funny situation!  Everyone that is except for Johnny, who was clearly perturbed.  He'd recently returned from Vegas and was in the mood to gamble so when we decided to play Munchkin instead of Poker he decided to let me know just how unhappy he was...and thus began the most epic game of Munchkin EVER...

In Munchkin, all the players begin the game together in a monster-filled dungeon where the goal is to defeat monsters in order to level up your character and win the game.  As you go along, you collect weapons, pickup new races (elf, dwarf, orc, etc...) and work together with or against the other players in order to be the first player to reach Level 10! Well, from the very beginning my biggest challenge was not the monsters lurking behind every corner of the dungeon but instead...Johnny Pham.

Early on in the game, I became a dwarf and drew all sorts of useful cards, equipping me with some pretty sweet weapons and armor.  Johnny, still sore about not playing Poker (And further enraged by the "sex change" spell I hit her with early in the game), quickly built up an alliance with the other players and turned them against me.  Johnny, AKA The Elven Queen B***, sat on a throne of LIES, and one by one deceived the other players into joining her evil alliance.  Our friend Justin, AKA Justin Dogpile, joined her because they were both the same race: Asian Elf.  Johnny turned Darien, AKA Darien the 1/4 Elf, 1/4 Dwarf, 1/4 Human, 1/4 Halfling, against me by promising him all the treasure she found.  At this point, Johnny had little hope of winning the game; every fiber of her being was bent solely on ensuring that I didn't win.  Our friend Dave, AKA Dave the Late Comer, AKA Father WTFAmIDoingHereIThoughtWeWerePlayingPoker, eventually sided with Johnny and used his clerical magic to prevent me from achieving Level 10 on a number of occasions.  Only Tucker, sweet Tucker, AKA Tucker the Young, stuck by my side.  Together, we almost overcame Johnny and her evil alliance but alas, someone drew a "Divine Intervention" card and gave Justin the points he needed to reach Level 10, thus ending the game and sealing my fate as a loser.  The Elven Queen Johnny had achieved her wretched goal...I, Thomas, AKA Thomas the Just, was defeated.

Afterwards, we played a quick game of Hold 'Em, which was also fun but not nearly as epic.